Quarter Life Crisis: Which Path Do I Take?

Okay. I may have freaked out a little bit today.

And by a little bit, I might mean too much. 

Today I woke up with a burning desire to do something else with my life. I am tired of waking up in the morning, knowing that I would do what I always do everyday. It's not that I hate my job (okay maybe I do, a little) but I hate being in the same damn place every single day. 

So when I woke up today, I was set to think of ways that I could somehow escape my day job. I want to be more than my job. Because I am more than this job. I can be more. 

At first, I was pretty sure I wanted to pursue Events Organizing. I belong to a family who likes to organize parties. My sister and cousin are in the same business as well and they are both successful in this pursuit. So I was pretty sure I wanted to do this. Like maybe 95% sure. My best friend has always wanted to do this as well, so I told her that I'm doing it, I'm finally doing it, and would she please come do it with me?? 

My cousins and I actually have a Facebook page already for our Events Organizing gig. But it never happened. I was the one who came up with the name, so I thought, "Why don't I use this one now?" and then I went ahead and made a new logo and banner for our Facebook page. (And then I removed them as admins because they already have their own businesses, duh?)

But minutes turned into hours and soon I wasn't quite sure if I still wanted to do this. 

 

I've always dreamed of having my own cafe/book store/library but I never had the money and time to do it. What if I do this now? What if I actually do it? It's scary, and so big, and I don't know if I could pull it off. I know zilch about putting up a cafe. Where do I start? 

And then I wanted to enrol at SOFA. 

I mean, the ideas are getting more and more ridiculous. 

And now I'm here and I still don't know what to do. 

I wanna know how some people figure out what they want to do in life. Some people are so lucky for finding out what they truly want to do so early in their lives. I never thought about other careers because I never knew how worse the working environment is in the field that I am in now. I don't wanna talk shit about it, but I'm just gonna say that I don't want to grow old in this kind of system. Unless I see down the road that the system here has changed, then maybe I'd come back. But now, I have nothing else on my mind but to get out. Soon. Or at least have something else that could define me. 

And you know, I can't just tell my parents that I quit my job and I have no fall back. Maybe I can but I don't want to. 

I am (almost) 25 and I'm at a crossroad that leads nowhere yet. 

♥,

Kristine Bernadette